So today I am going to the dentist for a few reasons. I have a chip in one tooth, a filling came out of another and im sure I have a few more cavaties. I havent been to the dentist in probably 14 years. And I dont like them.
It got to the point that I couldnt eat anything without being in pain. Right now, i just ate a bowl of cereal and my left side of my mouth and face are throbbing. Its going to cost me money. My benefits only cover so much of certain things. Anywhere from 90-60 percent covered. I need to get this done. Starting with the worst spot.
Hell, if i cant eat, maybe ill lose weight too!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Friend Syndrome
So....I got to thinking last night...and sometimes me thinking cannot be good. I look back at times in my life and way over analyze things that probably shouldn't be analyzed. Lets start back at the beginning, way back to elementary school.
I like a boy. He likes me. He likes my friend more and says I'm a great friend. Yea, sure that's exactly what I want to be...just a friend. Replay that in high school. I like John. We go out. We talk nightly. We become close. He meets my friend Hope. He likes her and I'm such a great friend. I could keep going, but I'm sure you get the point.
I like someone now. I'm avoiding telling him because there is a group of us that hang out...when he knows that I like him, he is bound to like one of the other girls in the group. The insecure tomboy teenager comes back to take the place of the overly confident, strong 26 year old woman.
Where I seem confident, I'm not at all. I can hold my own in a fight, say what needs to be said, stand strong in being a big bitch, and whatever else. When it comes to groundhogs day take over my love life though, I fall down and hide. WTF.
One of these days, the confident woman will beat the shit out of the insecure teenager. But somehow, this kid has a hold on this adult.
I guess ill settle for being the great friend. They always say you gotta start as friends to build a relationship right? Right. Thats what im sticking to.
I like a boy. He likes me. He likes my friend more and says I'm a great friend. Yea, sure that's exactly what I want to be...just a friend. Replay that in high school. I like John. We go out. We talk nightly. We become close. He meets my friend Hope. He likes her and I'm such a great friend. I could keep going, but I'm sure you get the point.
I like someone now. I'm avoiding telling him because there is a group of us that hang out...when he knows that I like him, he is bound to like one of the other girls in the group. The insecure tomboy teenager comes back to take the place of the overly confident, strong 26 year old woman.
Where I seem confident, I'm not at all. I can hold my own in a fight, say what needs to be said, stand strong in being a big bitch, and whatever else. When it comes to groundhogs day take over my love life though, I fall down and hide. WTF.
One of these days, the confident woman will beat the shit out of the insecure teenager. But somehow, this kid has a hold on this adult.
I guess ill settle for being the great friend. They always say you gotta start as friends to build a relationship right? Right. Thats what im sticking to.
Friday, October 2, 2009
What to say, What to do?
This one will be short.
Ive been stressed out lately when it comes to finances. But I haven't broken down like I have in the past. Negative Nancy me (ironic because that's my moms name) is actually a little optimistic. Things will be fine. They might take a little time, but they will be just fine.
About 6 months ago I had a minor breakdown in my kitchen because I didn't know how I was going to pay the power bill that was due to be shut off. So bad of a breakdown, Sophia's father wanted to take her for the week. I told him that she is whats keeping me above ground.
I cant tell you what is different this time around. I used to suffer from depression. Not excessive. But i didn't know how to handle anything in my life. If it wasn't perfect there was a problem. Something changed this year. Heartbreak, loss, failure...guess they all make you stronger.
No crying over little things. I have my life, I have my daughter, I have my place (for now) and I have amazing friends. I'm OK.
Ive been stressed out lately when it comes to finances. But I haven't broken down like I have in the past. Negative Nancy me (ironic because that's my moms name) is actually a little optimistic. Things will be fine. They might take a little time, but they will be just fine.
About 6 months ago I had a minor breakdown in my kitchen because I didn't know how I was going to pay the power bill that was due to be shut off. So bad of a breakdown, Sophia's father wanted to take her for the week. I told him that she is whats keeping me above ground.
I cant tell you what is different this time around. I used to suffer from depression. Not excessive. But i didn't know how to handle anything in my life. If it wasn't perfect there was a problem. Something changed this year. Heartbreak, loss, failure...guess they all make you stronger.
No crying over little things. I have my life, I have my daughter, I have my place (for now) and I have amazing friends. I'm OK.
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