Love is a Bitch

in the past year I have done a lot of stupid things. The biggest is letting myself fall in love. Yea, I know that sounds stupid. Falling in love only caused my heart to break.

I heard a song the other day at work. "realize" by Colbi Calley. I couldn't help but tear up. This was the song I heard the moment I realized that I was in love. The words are perfect. Now I hear it and I get mad that I could love someone who didn't want a relationship but got with someone else. I wanted it SO bad that i made something out of nothing.

No denying that we had something. That was the happiest I had been ever. But it broke my heart every time i saw him, heard anything about him or thought of him. Hearing that song brought it all back.

Everyday is another day to move on. To mend my heart. To be stronger. He did that for me. I know i am appreciated. I know that I am me. Me is great.

I know how cheesy all this sounds. I thank him everyday for breaking my heart. And for being my friend. Ill always love him but I cant feel the same love as before.

Fucking love is a bitch.

Let it begin

Ive always been the one to write what I feel. Whether the emotion is sad, happy or right down random. To be honest, I was never the type of person to share any of my words. Why? Fear of rejection, fear of criticism, straight up fear.

Why start now? A few reasons I guess.
1) It can be my wind down time at night after work and housework.
2) I'm finally confident in my own skin to not care what others think of my words.
3) A friend started his to journal a fresh start in his life.

Call me a copy cat if you will...but many people have blogs.

This week is starting a lot for me. First full week with my cousin away (she lived with me for 2 years); first week struggling for extra money; first week back on the well needed diet and workout plan; last week of real freedom before I start a second job.

Watch me as I cope with life, as simple as it is.