Words that help heal

I had a moment yesterday. I know I have them often, but this one was major.

There has been a weird feeling between myself and a friend for a few months. She is now dating the one I was in love with. Before you judge, they were friends as well. I met her through him. She never once tried to shove it in my face or even openly admit that she was dating him. But I know they are both happy. It was very selfish of me to feel upset or even bitter about them. And one statement made me realize this. She put a twitter post out that said "At lunch with my man. Doesn't take much to make me happy. Just seeing his face is enough." My heart sank a little once again but I also realized something. I know what that feeling is. I know how happy felt with him. I am being so selfish to not accept that they are happy. So I told her.

Yes, it hurts to really let him go. I know we will never be the same. But i didn't want to accept that he was happier with someone else. I shed a few tears, i didn't cry. It felt good because I know that she wanted to hear that. They avoid coming to places I will be because they don't want me to be uncomfortable.

Then my day turned into "I hate being alone on the holidays. I hate the holidays because I'm always alone.". One friend said a few statements that broke me down into tears but made me feel stronger.

"Kind of sad because you don't deserve any of this shit, but you're hopeful." She read my blog and said it was remarkably inspirational. and then went on to say "When you find someone I will be so damn happy for you bc I know your heart and know what you deserve." I cried as I read it out loud. These are genuine words spoken from a friends heart. And I'm blessed.

I'm OK. This leads me to things I'm thankful for. Leave that for tomorrow when I'm knee high in turkey and pie.